I was in burger king that day, and man, that place smelled like shit. Everyone appeared to be cast under some sickly glow from the unnatural fluorescent lighting, and they just basked under it, staring blankly into space as the smell of sizzling imitation beef permeated the air. The grease and stains on the floor didn’t bother me so much as the filth which poured out of unchecked trash receptacles, it was a beautiful sight.
“Hey” some guys said. I listened in out of curiosity, and also because I was in such a junk-food induced daze that I could barely maintain my own train of thoughts. “How much is the big whopper man, da’ big one.” There was no response, and the man simply continued to stare blankly and stupidly at the lit menu screen atop the serving counter.
Fuck.
This food, man, it tasted alright, I could guarantee that, but that’s where it all stopped. You see, after consuming it, my stomach got all angry and shit. It all sloshed around and burned away with all kinds of crazy gases and preservative-filled segments of processed filth. Uhhhggg. I was in heaven.
I just sat there man, just sat there staring into space, feeling the junk course through my system. It completely impaired my thinking abilities, and it made me feel about as energetic as a sloth. But it was all good, because the taste was worth it, and for all I knew, they had enough shit in their food to make it seem like I was feeling alright.
“Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan,” this one dude said. “Whoz gunna pay 4 me? I ain’t got no change!” Then some bitch laughed at him and they just continued standing around, staring at that motherfucking menu screen like it was going to suddenly jump out at them.
Maybe they were stoned for fuck’s sake, fuck I was, so it seemed likely that others would be as well. This place was all weird and shit, and the vinyl seats were virtually moisture proof, and they were a dark green, probably hadn’t been replaced since the 80s.
I saw some old dude, and he was walking around like he was about to kill someone. He didn’t look like me, nobody here did (not that this matters) and he had on the distinguished Burger King Uniform and he was cleaning some old shit pile which had spilled over from the refuse container.
He looked pretty goddamn upset, and I could not understand. Did he hate his job? Did he just hate picking up all the spilled over filth, courtesy of inane and discourteous fast-food restaurant goers? That seemed likely, and he looked like he was going to snap one time, maybe it was the way he slammed down the neon green serving trays when he moved them, or maybe it was the way he shuffled around like a madman. I’d probably never know, but what I did know is that I didn’t want to cross his path even on a good day.
Shit, it was getting late now, and the only people left around were those weird night goers who stick around places like this for no reason at night and just stare blankly at things, completely lost in their own worlds, not even noticeably aware of their surroundings. This was ok though, that’s how they decided to live their lives, and who was I to judge? I was doing the same damn thing now, and it was a lot easier to simply go with the flow of it all…
“Fuck al this shit,” I said suddenly, causing nobody to take notice. I stood up, allowing my half-eaten whopper to slop to the ground in a small pile of yellow-tinged lettuce, soggy imitation beef, and partially molded bun (as indicated by the strange areas of green fuzz growing around it).
“HEY,” the burger king dude screeched, “YOU GUNNA PICK UP???” he pointed furiously at my dropped refuse, acting as if such an act of offence was a life or death situation.
“Yes, my apologies sir,” I said compliantly. At that, he turned around sharply and immediately resumed stacking the neon green trays in a violent fashion. I felt bad for the guy, because he must have had a pretty shitty job, but it’s not like I could help him, and even though I wanted to, as providing helpfulness was some part of me that I couldn’t explain. But now, I worked diligently to suppress the urge to help, be generous, courteous, converse, smile at, or generally just be myself around anyone after being repeatedly exposed to the true natures of various individuals, many of whom presently surrounded me. This wasn’t to say that everyone was like this, of course they weren’t, and I would feel better about myself if I acted in my true way, so there was really no reason not to. So at that moment I let go of my paranoid concern and sprang up a conversation, which is something I’d been wanting to do for awhile.
“Say, what’s it like working here? You must like this place, it’s much newer and cleaner than the previous one which you may or may not have worked at previously,” I asked curiously.
“Fucking hell, get out,” the man replied. Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, so much for that.
I don’t even know what time it is anymore, but I forgot that I was using the wrong writing perspective. So then I wondered around the rain-slicked streets as the wind drifted noiselessly though the few trees above. I doubted they were real, so few things were in this place.
I had to leave, I had to get out. I hated this place, I hated it here. I hated the people and I hated the things. There was nothing real, there was simply fakeness wherever I turned. Bums on the street with greasy dreads and broken guitars with grubby stryophone change cups, and I didn’t want to go there. Strange parcels of garbage drifting along the road and side-walk, nobody bothered with it. All the shops, bright windows, strange glowing writing and a lot of exotic apparel and/or video rentals with a lot of fat people cruising around in strange outfits. Marijuana shops left right and center the scent permeating the air people everywhere lost in own minds.
Had to leave, but where? Man, I walked quite a distance. There was this woman who talked to me for about 20 minutes then I realized she was a crack whore. Got the fuck out of there, got the hell out of that street and moved to other areas of town like a big concrete maze. Saw this prostitute tried to sell me a night, I smiled and continued on my way, she looked like a nice girl, what a shame. This McDonalds was still open so I walked in – fat black man with jerry-curled hair, too tight red shirt and strange cowboy boots sitting to the left, damn. I left and walked some more, I walked a lot. Saw a car wreck where this idiot taxi driver had t-boned some sedan, didn’t see blood. Saw some house party at some expensive mansion type place, people smiling pictures everywhere. More homeless all over cans rattling in overstuffed shopping carts drugs old stereos and strange beeping devices. Some hairdresser told me the place changed a lot in the past few years so I guess it really did and I saw firsthand not bad oh well. Saw some strange old guy in this window at a back of a hotel, was selling some bricks of drugs to this older dude in a customized Cadillac type car. Lots of people in coffee shops with laptops free wireless and double lattés what’s a whole fucking lot of caffeine got to keep brain high powered for city life. I walked to the other McDonalds walked in and sat ordered some food wasn’t very good. Woman came in sat down in seat across from me started shooting up right there – they wouldn’t let her in the washrooms. Left the place walked along some darkened alleyway. Crazy dude wondering around in a drug-induced haze, vomit coming out of his mouth was muttering some strange things. Started walking around close to downtown near The Bay this big clothing place with lots of good sales and things. Stood around for a bit then this kid around my age came around the corner started asking me for money I said I didn’t have any and he followed me for about 10 minutes asking. I think he wanted to mug me but probably decided it was a bad idea considering my size. Still kept asking me for money all the way home what a bastard.
Next day woke up walked outside – sunshine and warmth. Walked around several more hours randomly all the streets up and down. Saw this younger guy yelling at elderly woman in car, elderly woman rolled up woman kids crying – was strange. Saw all these little shops everywhere ran by all these little people selling tones and tones of little things all over the place selling selling selling people going in and out talking fast not my language (which isn’t a bad thing wish I understood), windows FILLED with symbols images price tags crammed with faces advertisements everything all kinds of long distance rates to various countries all kinds of phone cards and internet rates and connections, travel, everything you could imagine. Walked around for a bit more
People places moving fast sunglasses designer clothes cars, limbless homeless people standing by like refuse. Black woman with HIV/ AIDS no arms strange burn marks on legs, cardboard sign attached by plastic necklace. Man in hoodie on knees sad look on his bearded face – couldn’t sit because cops wouldn’t allow, holding out plastic cup. Saw some demonstration against organ trade in China graphic pictures of guts didn’t want to look – people looking despondent and indifferent. Asian print artists with similar works every several blocks or so, possibly mass produced via printer. More miscellaneous homeless dirty, greasy hair old guitars dogs worn clothing looked sad. Had cardboard signs, sitting around sidewalks and buildings.
Went to the quiznos, sat and ate. Old homeless guy out front sleeping on cardboard – owner called police. Cops come and the homeless dude argues and yells, screams, is clearly enraged, cops smirk look down try to calm down “can’t sleep in this part of town, go away”
I walk some more outside decent day no raid it’s pretty sunny out. Saw this really, really fat guy who had a blanket, his gut was huge and he smelled really bad. I saw him a lot though, he was always leaning in front of the convenience store hoping for leftovers – looked really sad most of the times. Met this other dude, homeless and my age, talked for a bit he was drugged up tried to roll a cigarette – tobacco spilled everywhere he didn’t notice rolled a pretty poor cigarette told me that his mom kicked him out and didn’t care, said he found a lot of valuables in the trash like a laptop once and some drugs. Used to boost cars down in the states after getting kicked out got caught and deported, homeless now.
Knew this other guy, rooted through the compactor everyday but manager put lock on it made him pretty upset, he had arthritis of the knee could apparently predict storms with it – some kind of detection through difference in wind pressure. Lived off social assistance and disability payment but had to collect bottles for food. I helped him with it – gave him bottles didn’t care about manager.
Day turned to night I continued to walk. Saw this dude, homeless, smoking crack pipe in McDonalds entrance way. Crack and McDonalds very addictive. I walked to this university on some uptown street, really nice lots of expensive-looking fineries. Security guard came out for smoke it was really cold out, started talking to me. Told me about the people that went to this school, said a lot of bad things, said they’re all stuck up didn’t care about anyone else, partied all the time minds ruined by drugs – he seemed pretty bitter, then asked me some weird things I left.
Saw a lot of people, saw them move, talk, expressions, thoughts, all melded together in some bizarre jigsaw puzzle of experience, all doing what they did regardless – you’re born a certain way can’t change, can only obscure and suppress. Wanted to help? Yeah, couldn’t though, not all of them, not even anyone sometimes, things were different now, people different now, businesses, money, brand names, drugs, McDonalds, outside people outside influences cigarettes coffee cell phones portable music devices plastic surgery sex shops garbage floating across street cigarette butts piled on sidewalks bums laying in streets no desire to live – can’t change it all oh well, go with the flow it’s much easier can’t go against that which is impossible to overcome make a life live by your own ideals build a life for yourself pursue what you like build a future and career for yourself find someone to love raise children finish school purchase respectable automobile & wardrobe make LOTS of $, and don’t forget, ignore the problems, at least the real ones, because if you take them on you’ll simply go crazy, just like them.
Saw this sunset man, was beautiful by the seawall at dusk, sat on a bench read a book smoked a joint. Dude comes up, weird dude, has on a Canada flag bandana and goggles, weird clothing and fanny pack. He looked like me. Says some things, I nod, and he leaves.
Are we ever going to be free? I think is what he said.
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