So this b**** from the Kellogg’s Corporation phoned me today

So this bitch from the Kellogg’s Corporation phoned me today because I complained that there was too much sugar in fruit loops. She gave me the same old damn run around about how their shit doesn’t have too much sugar and if I feel that the excessive sugar content is making me nauseous (which it was) then I should consider visiting my family doctor in order to determine if maybe I had a medical condition related to excess sugar consumption. What in the fuck? Maybe she should go see a doctor because the Kellogg’s corporation is fucked. I’m fairly certain of the fact that fruit loops are drenched in sugar, and they contain so much that it’s literally sickening. I’m pretty sure I wanted to vomit after eating no more than 1 bowl of it, so I emailed about it and all I got was a load of dog shit. Whoever is in charge of that company is trying to poison us, so it would only be logical to boycott the shit out of Kellogg’s and all their crappy, half-assed products which are so crammed with sugar (which is most likely fused with cocaine) that anyone who even thinks of purchasing a Kellogg’s product is automatically stricken with type 2 diabetes. It’s bad enough that every other goddamn food under the sun has way too much sugar already, but why the breakfast cereal? Why do those innocent, vibrant, multi-coloured rings which used to bring me so much joy as a child and subsequently a young adult have to be so tainted with the nutritional equivalent of filth? Sugar is a narcotic, and one of the worst kinds. People eat it all the time and hardly EVER give 3.4 shits about it, despite the fact that it probably ruins at least 90% of all living tissues in the body. It just floats around in the blood, stealing oxygen and nutrients from innocent cells as it pleases, and the brain doesn’t even seem to care one bit, since it’s simultaneously being assailed by multiple waves of tissue-eating sugar molecules. It’s too busy fighting its own war to even help the rest of the body out, but that doesn’t stop the person from jamming more of that sugar laced junk down their throats. Pretty soon the body just fucking gives out, causing rapid gut expansion and amplified stupidity levels, and do those gooks at Kellogg’s ever think of that? No, because they’re coons. And by coons I mean raccoons, those dark eyed bastards always get into the trash. I doubt the even know how to build their own nests anymore, because they’re too busy ruining everything that everyone else built. Jesus Christ. So anyway, the goddamn Kellogg’s wench is all like “YOU KNOW, YOU EAT A LOT OF SUGAR DURING THE DAY, LIKE NATURAL SUGARS FROM ALL THOSE FRUITS ETCETERA, LOL.” And at that point I almost died of an aneurysm because I couldn’t even comprehend the shit she was spewing. Of course you eat a lot of natural sugars, but those sugars are GOOD FOR YOU, unlike the trashy, heavily processed, devoid of nutrients, and unnaturally extracted pure sucrose filth they pump into their shitty cereal. I just about blew up at her but the probably had the call on recording to make sure that if a person talked shit and tried to screw them over later by attempting to sue them after finding rusted nails in their cereal they could play the recording of that phone conversation as incriminating evidence to suggest that the prosecutor is deemed psychologically unfit to participate in the court of law. They always find a way to screw you, I bet Kellogg’s is secretly ran by telemarketers who’ve had their DNA spliced with mosquitoes. And then she had the naivety to tell me about all the other options Kellogg’s offered in terms of ‘healthy choices’ but I wasn’t buying it. There are no choices anymore, and nothing’s healthy. North America is the most overfed and under-nourished nation in the world, and if we were ever invaded by China it would be a quick war because we’d all be too fat and ridden with every known disease/illness in the book to get up off our damn computer chairs and do anything. World War 3 will not be fought on a battlefield, but rather in supermarkets, because that’s where all the fats will barricade themselves until the Chinese army comes and hunts them down like cows. But what the fats have on their side is the ability to resist bullets due to their immense girth and numerous layers of fat cells which act as a temporary flack jacket of flab, so they can take a lot of hits before being incapacitated, and even if the bullets dig far enough to hit any major organs, chances are their fat bodies are so adept at metabolizing food that lead bullets wouldn’t stand much of a chance and would simply get digested, and if the fat people decided to regurgitate, they could probably puke bullets back at the Chinesers, who at this time wouldn’t know what the fuck to do because all their weapons, which were cheaply produced in Chinese labour factories, would have most likely malfunctioned.