Because I Could.

Update: this was written years ago.


All that is known is that it happened shortly after it all began. It was an uneasy time, a time of change and discovery. It had been as if the entire world was just some kind of unknowable labyrinth of knowledge and interaction. All the people seemed to know exactly what to do, and they moved around from place to place with precision and assuredness. Whenever one of these people would speak, an unimaginable string of complicated sounds would be produced. Some of the noises were sharp, and others were in lower tones. Their mouths moved as well, and according to the expression upon one’s face, current moods could be ascertained. The eyes were especially telling, for the seemed to convey an even higher level of communication that most commonly goes unrecognized. The eye is a perfect structure, and its ability to self-repair is unparalleled in the human body.

Under certain lighting, it would seem that some people’s eyes would reflect multiple sources of  light,  and it was not uncommon for some individuals to screen their faces with glassed spectacles. There had even been reports of monocles somewhere in the world.

To default back to more relative topics, it is necessary for one to examine the way in which a person can configure the expression produced by their eyes. This method of configuration became elucidated to me at a point where little else seemed to contain much knowledge. It had been as if the mysteries of the universe had unfolded before me, showcasing a diverse array of ornate scenery amongst the psychological equivalent of electrical induction. This bright and powerful electricity permeated my subconscious, ripping into untouched fields of data that had barely been accessed. It was as if a small metropolis had been rapidly blueprinted and synthesized within nanoseconds, and the only possible course of action was to go with the flow.

Logic temporarily departed from the thought process, and she began to tell me things that burned in a way 

that was irreversible once heard. The words at this point seemed to take on no meaning, though their meaning had never been clear to begin with, and at that instant, amidst the adrenaline-spiked waves of confusion, a teleportation took place. It brought me to a new place, a place where most things were bright and clear, as if the contrast had been amplified to the point of sickness. The scenes passed by like a an old VHS stuck on fast-forward, each frame a glimpse of unanticipated excitement and fear. It was difficult to tell which emotion had taken the upper hand at this point, but both emotions flooded the pit of my stomach to an almost nauseating extent. The teleportation persisted, lifting my thoughts into an even darker and stranger realm. I peered inside with my mind’s eye and examined that which possessed little meaning at this point.

There were many dark bars at this place. It wasn’t as happy and bright as the other places. If it could have manifested into physical form, it would be represented as a garbage bag full of rotten sludge. I examined this mental pictogram of a bag of s*** floating aimlessly and infuriatingly, almost as if it possessed a superiority complex. At this point, where it had seemed as though all logic and reason had been utterly abandoned, my subconscious deployed an unseen object. This object was highly sophisticated and technological. It possessed several multi-core processors, numerous terabytes of random access memory, and enough hexadecimals to tear the photons from a neutron star. The first process involved a close examination of registry inputs, a localized sub-routine scanner capable of extracting the most infected files, and transporting them merrily to the recycling bin.

This computational process was analogous to how structures leading to the parietal lobe in the brain rearrange themselves around the temporal-parietal junction, a veritable aid in the calculation of arithmetic terminology. It has been observed that a transmission deficiency at this junction can result from serious head trauma. This is known as Incalculia, and it is physically represented by lesions in the parietal lobe. It is not clear where such lesions might have come from, but what is clear is that even when a close proximity is apparent, that doesn’t seem nearly enough to spur on the necessary motivation to succeed. But he knew that it had to happen at some point, because without this, then there’s no reason to live, and without life, then there’s no reason to exist. Life in all it’s forms, all its beautiful and diverse forms is what rectified his constitution, for that which could not be described in words was undoubtedly a fallacy in itself, existing as an untouched mountaintop high above, soaring into unseen distances when riding on the wind. And as if that wasn’t enough to convince the skeptics, it might have been more obvious to him that these insignificant departures from consciousness were nothing but eccentric whisps floating from place to place, traversing the neural  network like a flock of misguided birds, but it didn’t have to be that inordinate, it didn’t have to be the way that they make it seem, because it wasn’t that way to begin with. It was dissociation

Dissociation frequently occurs when the subject in question is on the verge of intimate contact. As for why this occurs it is difficult to ascertain, but the one point of truth is that life with this ailment is far from routine. Dissociation is the bane with which a person is submerged by thoughtless doubts and unseen demons, haunting a tainted where previously no haunting did exist. It was simply as if a carrier of subliminal, damning messages had infiltrated the data banks, intent on wreaking havoc. Perhaps this was the mechanism with which individuals underwent psycho-reconditioning, for he could no longer consider that which was alien to his mind, for his experiences extended far deeper into the realm of the self, and that is where the strategies for healing and contemplation must take place. There was little to no logic here, but that was not to say that he was incapable of forming logical thoughts or even designing subroutines which were capable of enacting complicated procedures for facilitating the formulation of inane equations, because that’s all they really were in the first place. It did not seem to make sense to him why he should endure this hardship, especially when more viable means were necessary. It was up to him to make the decisions and come to terms with the fact that travesties that had occurred in many years past would continually persist unless supplanted and concealed by the Box. He did not want to open the box, as it contained all the evil that had accumulated in his mind, which at this point would appear to be quite substantial. This evil did not manifest itself in any physical or mental sense, because he kept it well hidden in the back of his mind, but despite this, there was ample opportunity to demonstrate the fact that this evil truly did exist, and it was up to the possessor of such fleeting thought to endure enough hardship to the point where this evil could be consolidated. And that’s what it was really about in the first place. He’d developed a system by which emotions had been attached to a string of various feelings, and these feelings are what tied him to the bounds of reality. They were represented by thoughts of anguish and a realization that to make things right it was necessary entice the mind up to a plain of understanding that detached itself from the unrecognizable mass of reprehensible doubt. There were several outcomes to the situation, none of which could be fully understood. All that was known was that it happened, and that it should never happen again.