Frjlolrjlord or something, where Ashe and Tryndamere are from.
How is my keyboard still alive? I don't even know. This NanoWriMo nonsense has taken a mental toll on me, but it has taken a far greater physical toll on my keyboard. Never before have I wrote with such and unrestrained fury. In these long days of writing, where my only nourishment for the day might be beer and pepperoni sticks, I've got to keep reminding myself of why I'm doing this. I want to write a book, and I can do this. Furthermore, I don't give a fuck if it sucks right now, because it will get better over time. It's like evolutionary literature, you know, and at level one it's a shit-heap that gets trampled by griefers. In the early levels, it still gets shit-canned by higher level mobs and members of the opposing faction, but it is capable of inflicting minuscule amounts of damage. Some of the quest chains are mixed up. Some of the abilities on the action bar don't make sense. The talent trees are a gong-show. But hey, you only have to slog through Stranglethorn Vale for so long. I use this location because in Vanilla WoW, on a PvP server, it was atrocious, and took your 100x longer to get anything done, because everyone was out to get you. However, once you ploughed through that nonsense, things got a lot easier, and you could go to Hillsbrad Foothills and shit. Scarlet Monestary. In this literary adventure, I at times feel like I'm trapped in the harrowing shit-holes of Desolace, but it doesn't even matter. Does. Not. Even. Matter. I'm not even writing a book about WoW, but League of Legends. Yeah, I've been researching it and everything. Reading all the Journals of Justice. There's a rich world of lore and back-story that Riot has created, and I'm sinking into its underpinnings to device my own story-work machinations. Don't even give a fuck.
30k to go.
Literally taking a seat \_
Here's my after killing a DARGON with my sword. Cut him right in the face.
Here's my in-home alchemy lab, where I craft my drugs.
The wife disagrees with my interior design choices.
Upon the southern tip of Valoran, beyond the comfortable cities, villages, and bastions of safety, there exists a tropical area known as the Plague Jungles. It lies beyond Kumungu, and is shrouded in the aftereffects of ancient sorcery. It is said that the Plague Jungles were ravaged by the destruction caused during the Rune Wars long ago. Saturated with residual magic, this is a place where the local flora and fauna have become assiduously warped beyond recognition. The leftover magic has tampered with evolution itself, and has created living organisms that should not exist. Much of the land, where even the most cunning and resourceful travellers dare not to enter, is covered by twisted vines and festering rot, so that even gaining passage to this land is treacherous and daunting.
On this day, however, the ever brave Teemo steps forward undaunted, for he is determined to acquire poisons, reputed to be the strongest and most potent in existence, for his specialized mushroom traps. He is accompanied by Nidalee, the Jungle Huntress, whose knowledge of the surrounding area has proven to be most valuable thus far, but safety in these lands tends to depend on luck rather than experience, and no amount of resourcefulness can prepare them for what awaits within...
Here's something I wrote up over the course of today. It is more or less a sketch of something in development, but I thought it a good idea to share with LoL-Lore enthusiasts.
Enjoy
Part 1: The Plague Jungle.
Upon the southern tip of Valoran, beyond the comfortable cities, villages, and bastions of safety, there exists a vast tropical area known as the Plague Jungles. It borders Kumungu, and is scarred by the aftereffects of ancient sorcery. It is said that the Plague Jungles were ravaged and destroyed by the the Rune Wars long ago. Saturated with residual magic, this is a place where the local flora and fauna have become assiduously warped, beyond all recognition. The leftover magic had tampered with evolution itself, and organisms that should not exist were created. Even the most cunning and resourceful travelers dare not enter here, as the land is covered by twisted vines and festering rot, so that even gaining passage through it is treacherous and daunting.
On this day, however, the ever brave Teemo steps forward undaunted, for he is determined to acquire poisons reputed to be the strongest and most potent in existence, to be used in his specialized mushroom traps. He is accompanied by Nidalee, the Jungle Huntress, whose knowledge of the surrounding area has proven to be most valuable thus far, but safety in these lands tends to depend on luck rather than experience, and no amount of resourcefulness can prepare them for what awaits within...
~*~
As Nidalee tried to suppress her rapid breathing, a cold fear caused her senses to heighten. The midnight mist was calm and cool against her perspiring body-she shivered, and the feeling of uncertainty sat uncomfortably in her racing mind. The rain pattered lightly upon nearby rocks, and when she gazed up, the moons' light became briefly visible amid the dark clouds, and azure hues of deep blue and purple shone across the nearby vine-coils and treetops. The temperature had dropped too quickly-an uncomfortable chill- and Nidalee wasn't exactly dressed for drafty weather. She glanced down at her revealing fur outfit, let out a brief sigh, and continued to jog at an even pace. However, these thoughts were an acceptable distraction from her feelings of uncertainty. Her quick, controlled breaths were accompanied by visible bursts of condensation.
As night sky continued to appear foreboding, it seemed obvious that this was not the time to be traversing the inner depths of the Plague Jungles, where few had ventured before, and far fewer had returned alive. However, Nidalee's Yordle companion, Teemo, had specifically recruited her for this dangerous task, as her knowledge of the area was far superior than most. This was a mission of the utmost importance, and the pair would not leave until they found what they sought; the most destructive mushroom poison in the entire world! Teemo had caught word of this extraordinary poison from Rammus, who said to have observed the virulent concoction upon making his way to theAlter of Ubermagix, whereupon he received life-altering powers that granted him the strength to enter the League of Legends.
At the moment, the little Yordle was fighting to keep up with Nidalee's lengthy strides, though sofar his efforts had been commendable, for a Yordle. He trailed behind her avidly, bouncing to-and-fro upon his stubby Yordle legs, utilizing his expert scoutsmanship to avoid the pitfalls amid the darkened jungle terrain. The swiftness of Nidalee's reflexes was honed, precise; a product of prolonged endurance training and long nights spent on the hunt. While Nidalee was too modest to admit it, she'd acquired quite a name for herself on the hunting circuits throughout Valoran, and it was unlike her to pursue her prey for many hours, even days, before zeroing in for the kill. Teemo. however, was far too impulsive to appreciate such patience, and he'd rather dispatch his enemies as quickly as possible.
'Are you sure you know the way, Miss?' Teemo inquired, barely able to catch his breath. 'Just stay close, and follow,' she replied, not looking back for a second. She imagined for a moment that the golden aura of natural light emanating from her lantern seemed to act as a beacon for night-dwellers, who, would like nothing more than to stalk some easy prey. 'It can’t be much farther... if only I had the stars to guide me' she whispered faintly, glancing up to the shrouded sky. 'Are we there yet?' he insisted.
'No' she shot back, with a hint of annoyance. 'Please - stop asking.' It was hard to carry on a conversation in the rush of their rapid movement, and she didn't want to alert the entire Jungle of their location. Unlike Teemo, she lacked the abilities to stealth.
Ancient trees creaked and swayed in the wind. The jungle seemed to close in around. Almost there, thought Nidalee,just a bit longer... oh please. The yordle was beginning to seem too persistent and annoying for his own good.
~*~
After what seemed like hours of covering ground, they pair decided to take a brief break, and eat some candy corn-rations, specially provided by Teemo.
Teemo was in a good mood altogether, so he didn't let the ill weather detract from his exuberance. It became obvious to him that this expedition would enable him to construct some of the most powerful mushrooms ever conceived of, so there was little time to consider the matters of cloudiness and rain. He'd never before ventured further than the Kumungu Jungles, which were also the birthplace of Nidalee. In fact, she had rarely exceeded the borders of her native Jungles as well, though from having grown up there, all those night she spent staring over the treeline at dusk, she had a curiosity about the Plague Jungle that needed to be sated.
The unlikely pair waded through pools of mud and protruding underbrush. By now the rain had subsided, causing a thin layer of mist to circulate at ground level. As the champions progressed deeper into the abyss, the amount of dangerous obstacles increased, becoming ever difficult to avoid. Rotten branches and twisted, wicked vines groaned and snapped underfoot-there was no time to stop. 'Oh, why do these things always happen!' complained Teemo, 'I just want my poison. It's the best poison in all of Valoran!' His he became more and more out of breath, his words were less coherent. Nidalee ignored the banter, and instead focused on finding the best available route.
While deep in thought, she heard a sound that caused her to stop dead. A spine chilling howl pierced through the entire jungle, followed by a torrent of flapping that came from the wings of terrified birds. The cry was wolf like; it was probably tracking her scent. Not knowing to either hide beneath the forest floor or to sprint away, she began to panic....
'What is it?' asked Teemo, a slight inflection of nervousness in his shrill voice. 'Quiet!' she snapped. Nidalee crouched low, made her body as still as possible, and motioned to Teemo with a finger to her lips. The tiny Yordle waddled over as quietly as possible, his miniature feet pattering effortlessly across the jungle floor. Had he been better prepared, he would of silently circulated the area, placing destructive, poisonous mushrooms everywhere possible...
Noxian Champions weren't often known for their subtlety. Talon, one of Noxus’ finest assassins, was reputed to enter a blade shops one moment, and leave with half their inventory the next. He was a blade collector, and his hobby was obsessive.
Wafts of cool autumn air circulated through TheBlade and Bludgeon. At the moment, Talon was observing a fine selection of wall-mounted weaponry within the shop. He eyed the gleaming weapons as a masterful architect would examine a building. Considerations of blade geometry, differential heat-treating, taper, blade harmonics, and points of balance circulated through his mind. No compromises were to be made; only the finest would do. Behind the counter, a middle-aged shop-keeper stood. The man’s visage was interlaced by precise facial scarring, indicating that he was a veteran blade-master. As the man cleaned the intricate hilt of an ancient rapier, it became obvious that his hand-eye coordination had deteriorated throughout the years, which probably explained why he managed a shop now instead of blade-dancing with Noxian dualists. Those days were long behind him.
‘How much for that one?’ Talon mused, motioning to the serrated micro-blades. The rune-inscribed weapons had wrist-mounted straps. Perfect for close range assassination, he thought.
‘For the whole set, or just the display model?’ replied the shop keeper. Ignoring the question altogether, Talon said nothing. It should have been clear to the keeper that display models were not to be considered.
‘Actually, it’s sold out,’ hinted a familiar voice. ‘I’ve already claimed that model.’ Talon turned to face Katarina, and furrowed his brows. The assistant shopkeeper, who'd been dealing with Katarina at another area in the shop, had several ivory-coloured boxes under one arm, and was totalling up costs with a pocket-book and quill in the other.
‘Cute,’ said Talon in an uninspiring tone. Katarina’s actions were often less than amusing to him. ‘And you intend to use all of them at once?’
‘Of course not,’ she replied condescendingly, ‘one must use backups for when the others break.’ She smiled coyly, and reached into a small brown sack of gold, retrieving far more than was needed to purchase the weapons. Talon simply stood there, observing the exchange, and the Shop owner, looking slightly bemused, scratched his head.
It has occurred to me that there is no such thing as a
League of Legends novel. Curiously, there isn’t even word of one in
development. How could this be possible? The game’s been around for two years,
possesses a rich world of IP, and has many hardcore enthusiasts. Given that I’ve
played games such as WoW, Rift, etc., over the past several years, I’m actually
blown away by the level of fanaticism exhibited by even moderate LoL players.
The point of this is that were a LoL novel to be written, there would almost
certainly be an immediate interest and following willing to read it. And there
are no shortage of things to write about. Character lore alone is so rich and
inviting, and there are infinite possibilities to incorporate as far as plot
structure and theme.
Ideas with LoL are endless... Runeterra is a world threatened by the destruction caused
by Rune Wars…. The catastrophe must be stopped. Or, Katarina and Cassiopiea get
into a bitter Feud, causing a major conflict within the De Couteau family,
leading to political unrest, riots, and protests around Noxus.
With that being said, I’ve been imagining what it would be
like to take on the task of writing a LoL novel.
Never before have I considered
so ambitious a project as writing a novel (well, that's not really true, but it makes my motivation to do so sound more epic), and I wouldn’t have the first idea about where to
start. But, through active research, short stories, and being an avid player of
the game, I am learning. There is much to be learned, and as far as writing a
novel goes, it’s nowhere easy. From my writing experience, anything over 5
pages can be grueling. Over 20 can be painstaking. I haven’t written many works
much longer than that, but I have written hundreds and hundreds of pages of
unrelated stories.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Maybe I could compile all those short stores, change all the names, work
in some creative license, and make a go of that… or maybe I could just write a goddamn, motherfuckin’ League of Legends novel, from scratch!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here are some thoroughly legitimate plot outlines (trolling
license taken into account!) =)
DrPoppyTrollo surveyed the surrounding area with a perception akin to that of a well-sharpened butter-knife, and PokketPlank, while heavily intoxicated by pirate-Rum, stumbled awkwardly about the darkened cobblestone path. The Twisted Treeline was an unforgiving place, and DrPoppyTrollo was careful not to alert the nearby Fayldamere. However, as DrPoppyTrollo sneaked carefully, PokketPlank stumbled drunkenly directly into Fayldamere, causing him to become enraged. PokketPlank and DrPoppyTrollo were never heard from again.
2)
Teemo didn’t care. His red superman cape, black bandana, and spandex attire made him look like a badass altogether. His mushrooms, picked from finest quality rain forests of Ionia, were primed with the finest quality explosives. No sooner had he opened his satchel of deadly implements to place them on the ground, than a wild Garen appeared from a seemingly innocuous bush, poised to bring down upon the small Teemo all the fearsome might of… DEMACIAAA!!!!
3)
Kog’itude, the pink-wigged New Zelandar, and PoppySavant, SuperTeemo’s eccentric Yordle companion, raced to the scene in a panic. Kog’Itude initiated the fight with try-hardGaren by lashing out with the luxurious curls of his pink wig, trying to enact a stranglehold of death. But, with one swift cleave, the pink locks were slashed apart, causing Kog’itude to retreat in fear. Then, without warning, PoppySavant leapt forward, temporarily throwing try-hardGaren off-balance. However PoppySavant was deemed OP, and was immediately banned and was removed from the Crystal Scar by a hidden game-master. Teemo was alone once again!
EDIT: Kog'itude committed to a tactical withdraw, not a retreat.
BONUS CONTENT: Me, drunk on Tequila, talking about the event during ~hour 16. This may one day come back to haunt me.
